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May 19, 2010

My Next Nokia Mobile – Ian Delaney

Pranav_SinghLONDON, England – I’ve been reading through the recent series of Design by Community posts and, like you, fantasising a bit about what the next generation of Nokia mobiles might bring. But rather than sticking to the bounds of what is actually possible at any sensible price point, the laws of Physics or allowing the opinions of other people to influence matters, I’ve decided on my own list of three absolute essentials for my future mobile.

Hot swap my SIM: In truth, I can’t decide which model I want. Never have been able to. It’s always a compromise. I want something bulky with a QWERTY keypad for email and messaging; a svelte touch-screen for entertainment and the smallest device possible for nights out. Oh, and a 3G dongle for my laptop. Since this is my fantasy, let’s assume I can actually afford four different models that fit the criteria. The only remaining obstacle, then, is getting my SIM card out of one phone and into another. And that’s quite the obstacle, isn’t it? Why have we still got those fiddly little slots behind the battery? Why do I have to take the back off at all? I want a sensible little cartridge that pops in and out with a push.

Fake my location: I want a phone that can make it seem as though I’m somewhere else. I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking that I want this so that I can pretend to be working hard in the office when really I’m spending time with friends at a local hostelry. Wrong. Actually, it’s quite the opposite. I want something that makes my life sound a lot more exciting than it actually is. People phone me and all they can hear in the background is daytime TV and the tumble dryer. I want a glamour app. Press [1] to create the impression you are in a noisy bar, [2] for an international airport and [3] for rolling surf.

Stop the clock: My third and most audacious demand. From the moment I choose my next mobile until the moment 18 months later when I get to choose the next one after that, there is to be no public disclosure of any technological development whatsoever, no new releases and no price reductions. If I put my hand in my pocket to buy the best device on the market, then there is nothing more devastating than it being third-best two weeks later, for half the price. I realise that this measure may seem ever-so-slightly unreasonable to anyone who doesn’t buy their phone on exactly the same day as me: but just think how excited you’ll be when technology has suddenly sprinted forward in 18 months’ time.

So that’s my list and now it’s your chance: if you got to make your own totally unreasonable demand from the mobile industry or the boffins in Research & Development, what would it be?

image credit: Pranav Singh